


I love her, and sometimes she loves me too

by forever_falln



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 13:52:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15642078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forever_falln/pseuds/forever_falln
Summary: Sometimes when she looks at him Jamie is sure she loves him exactly the same way he loves her. And then there's all the other times when he's just not sure.





	I love her, and sometimes she loves me too

**Author's Note:**

> (Title adapted from another Pablo Neruda poem)
> 
> A short little something I wrote just because. 
> 
> Not proofread so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Rated mature for language and slight innuendo.

Sometimes when she looks at him Jamie is sure she loves him exactly the same way he loves her. And then there's all the other times when he's just not sure.

 

When she goes out with a fierce look in her eyes and finds herself a man to take home. When she joins in with Jordie teasing about his beard, his stutter or whatever stupid thing he's said or done recently. When she goes home to Toronto and spends the summer with her boys and he doesn't hear from her for months.

 

But today, well today she came back to Dallas for the new season and he just doesn't know anymore. It's been five years since she arrived in Dallas seemingly shy and timid hiding the pain of being traded and the insecurities she brought with her. It's been five years of Jamie watching and waiting. Waiting for some sort of sign that she wants this.

 

Tyler has spent most of the five years lecturing the team on their attitudes to women. Dallas isn't exactly a progressive team and Tyler is still the only woman on the team. Jamie likes the think the core group of guys that have been around for most that time are supportive and not gross. But one thing she has always said is she will never date a teammate. That is the kiss of death for female hockey players she says. She is an athlete, a professional, and dating a teammate would be to degrade that. So it's not _just_ Jamie's insecurities that were holding him back. Sure, he definitely thinks she's out of his league but that's beside the point. Even if she _did_ love him like that she wouldn't date him on principle.

 

So either way he's screwed. That's why he's spent the last five years hopelessly in love with her and suffering through their 'bromance'. It's like pressing on a bruise keeping her that close. But Tyler is easy to love. She is so vivacious, that's the word for her, he should know he looked it up. When she's comfortable with someone she's just 100% herself and that is bright and giggly and cuddly. The Tyler people see in the media is part a mask and part the truth. She wears her party girl image like armour. She owns the mistakes she's made and the preconceptions people have of her. But when they're alone she's different, more vulnerable. She tried to be all hockey bros at first but Jamie's not very good at that. He's a little too sincere and a little too awkward. But Tyler just _gets_ him. People call her his handler. Sometimes he thinks it's a little too true. Just how much her presence evens him out and brings him out of his shell. That's what Jordie says anyway.

 

It's like this every year. Just before the start of the pre-season Tyler will storm back into Dallas with her puppies and like a tornado ripping through his life. It's been radio silence all summer leaving Jamie fishing for scraps in her instagram story. Jamie can't help but be a bit annoyed about it. So sue him he doesn't pick up his phone. He sits on his massive couch watching his massive tv swigging a beer and trying to ignore the flashes of new notifications. His phone even rings which almost startles him into answering it. Tyler never calls. But it is her silly 'douche bro' picture with the abs flash lighting up his screen. So he screens it.

 

Look he knows he's being petty but there's only so much punishment a guy can take. Only so much feeling temporary in her life he can handle. She's his treasure and he's disposable to her. It's not her fault. He knows that. She's acts like she's completely oblivious to his feelings. He doesn't really see how she couldn't know. The whole team knows. Half the league knows. _Sidney Crosby_ asked him about it when they played at the olympics. How could she not know? So if she knows and hasn't said anything he can only assume she either doesn't feel the same way or she does but still doesn't want to be with him. Either way he has just run out of the energy to keep up his facade of not being in love with her. So if he answers her calls or texts they'll hang out and she'll see it for sure. And he doesn't want to make her reject him. Some things are just better left unsaid.

 

He probably should have remembered that she had a key.

 

“What the hell Bennie, why are you ignoring me?”

“Fuck.”

 

He drops his beer and somehow manages to get it all down his shirt. This is just perfect. He looks up at the doorway to see Tyler stood there hands on hips glaring at him. She's wearing a ridiculously short pair of denim shorts, a loose fitting vest and a backwards snapback. She looks great. She looks _mad._

 

“I'm waiting for an answer, asshat.”

 

Jamie snorts.

 

“You sound like my mother.”

“Fuck off, your mother doesn't call you an asshat.”

 

Jamie raises an eyebrow. It's true, of course. But Tyler has only ever met his mom at team events. He'd invited her to come home to BC with him but she'd blown him off. He might be holding on to stuff.

 

“Are you still mad I didn't come and visit?”

“No.”

“You seem mad Jamie. Just tell me what I did so I can apologise.”

 

Jamie shakes his head.

 

“If you don't know what you did how can you be sure your sorry?”

“Bennie, why are you trying to confuse me? You're mad at me which means I fucked up. You tell me when I fuck up and I apologise that's our deal.”

 

Jamie shrugs.

 

“Come on, just spit it out.”

“If you don't know why I'm upset I'm not going to tell you.”

“Fine, just sulk on your own like a sad sack see if I care!”

 

Jamie looks over his shoulder but she hasn't moved. She stalks forward and stands right in front of him. He has to tilt his head back to look her in the face. She's mad now too. And all his resolve melts. He doesn't want to make her mad.

 

“I didn't see you this summer.”

“We never hang out over summer. We never have.”

“I know!”

“So you _are_ annoyed I didn't come and visit!”

“I'm annoyed that you cut me off entirely and yeah, I'm annoyed that you blew me off. I wanted to introduce you to my family. Show you the island. But I guess you were too busy with your boys.”

 

Tyler's face darkens at that. Her eyes narrow and she folds her arms across her chest. A bit of her front goes up and Jamie hates that.

 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

 

Her voice is cold. She doesn't sound like that when she speaks to him.

 

“Not like that. I know you're just bros okay. Just like, I thought I was one of your boys too. But it's like as soon as summer's here you just drop me. It hurts.”

 

Jamie shrugs. He's trying not to sound pathetic but he's pretty sure he's missing the mark by a long way. He really needs to get out of this conversation quickly. But when he looks up at Tyler she doesn't look angry anymore. He watches as the armour falls away and the real Tyler looks devastated.

 

“Shit, are we finally going to talk about this?”

“Is there anything to talk about?”

“ _This_. You and me.”

“There isn't a you and me Tyler, what do you want me to say?”

“Fuck off, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah I do. I didn't really think you wanted to talk about it. I figured you know, you know, and you left every summer when you didn't _have_ to be around me anymore and I didn't hear from you until pre-season. So yeah, I got the message. I don't need you to spell it out.”

“What the fuck are you talking about Bennie?”

“ _You know_.”

“I'm starting to think I don't know anything to be honest Jamie. Do you really want to know why I don't call you over summer?”

 

Jamie just nods. He'd rather know. If this is going down now it would be better to get it all out in the open and then they can move on. Their friendship might not be the same but their chemistry on the ice should be fine. They were professionals after all. He'd never risk that.

 

Tyler takes a deep breath. She uncrosses her arms and moves to fold herself onto the couch pushing herself into the corner and hugging her knees to her chest.

 

“I know I'm a lot okay. During the season I know that I like _latch_ onto you. I hear the jokes. So yeah I want to see my boys because I don't get to see them much during the season but, like, I want to give you space as well. Most of the boys are kind of sick of me by the end of the summer anyway.”

 

Tyler shrugs like Jamie's supposed to believe she doesn't care.

 

“Tyler, I _like_ spending time with you. I don't _endure_ it. I invited you to visit over summer because I wanted to see you more.”

 

Tyler beams and Jamie feels it like a punch in the gut. She still doesn't get it.

 

“So why all this fuss now Jamie?”

“I just couldn't do it anymore.”

“Do what?”

“Pretend it didn't hurt. Pretend I didn't care. Pretend I didn't miss you.”

“I missed you too. I just didn't want you to get tired of me.”

“I could never get tired of you Tyler.”

“You've never said anything. I wasn't sure.”

 

Jamie snorts.

 

“Come on, Tyler. Everyone knows. I'm not subtle so I guess I just assumed you didn't feel the same. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I know how you feel about the whole teammate thing.”

 

Tyler lets go of her knees and sits up slapping her hands down on the leather of the couch.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“What?”

“Of course I feel the same you jackass.”

 

She emphasises the jackass with a slap to his bicep before launching herself across the couch and tackling him onto his back. He ends up with a knee in his groin and a mouthful of hair.

 

“Shit, sorry!”

 

Jamie curls in on himself as Tyler holds herself above him.

 

“Want me to rub it better?”

 

Tyler's smirking a lascivious glint in her eye.

 

“Or... I could kiss it better?”

 

Jamie can't help the blush on his cheeks and a slight gasp. Yep. He's acting like a fucking virgin.

 

“What about the whole teammate thing?”

 

Tyler sighs and lowers herself softly onto him. She tucks her face into his neck and wraps her arms around his waist. He feels the little puffs of breath tickling against his neck. He rubs a hand up and down her back. She feels the same. He gets to have her like this at least for a minute or two before she decides this is a bad idea.

 

“That's mainly a thing to stop teammates hitting on me.”

“What?”

 

He tightens his arms around her instinctively and presses his lips into her hair.

 

“There were some awkward moments on the Bruins. I had to turn someone down and it just fucked things up. And when I partied and fucked other guys it was like a personal offence to the guys. I was always a woman in that locker room and not just a teammate. I just felt... uncomfortable, unsafe. No one ever did anything. I fucked it up myself. But you know, a policy seemed like a good idea. Like if it was just off the table from the start no one would get fucked up about it.”

“Shit, Ty, that's fucked up. No one from the Stars has ever treated you like that? Because if they have you can tell me and I'll talk to them. Shit, wait, I didn't ever...”

“No, shut up Jamie. It's never been like that in Dallas. You have never once made me feel like that. You make me feel like I belong in that dressing room, on that ice. Like you value me as a player regardless of my gender.”

“Of course. You're the best player on this team Tyler. Always. Everyone knows that. You got me the Arty.”

 

Tyler giggles.

 

“Babe, you got that Arty yourself.”

“Whatever.”

 

Jamie snuggles into Tyler further.

 

“Wait, you said...”

“The no teammates thing is not a hard limit. Like in 2013 it probably was but now? Yeah it hasn't been for a while. Just for you.”

“Really?”

“Obviously. This is it Jamie. For me anyway. Everyone knows I'm stupid about you.”

“Everyone but me I guess.”

“Well now you know.”

 

Tyler lifted her head but trying to look her in the eye just made him go cross eyed.

 

“I know you don't see yourself as that hot but I promise you Jamie, I'm into it. But I'm here for more than just your body man. I'm in love with you. Like all in.”

“Same.”

“Fuck you! You can't ditto me!”

 

Tyler digs a finger into Jamie's ribs and Jamie wraps his legs around the back of hers. He pulls her up his body until they're face to face.

 

“I love you Tyler. All in. I'm yours for however long you'll have me.”

 

She smiles, wide and open, her nose crinkling up and she plants a smacking wet kiss on his lips.

 

“Forever sounds good. No take backsies.”

“Pinky promise?”

 

Jamie lifts up his pinky and Tyler, giggling, links hers in his and kisses him for real.

 

“Pinky promise.”

 

Jamie loses some time after that. Loses himself in her. She's so much more than he ever could have hoped for. But some time later, when they finally come up for air and he gets to see her; hair tousled and lips swollen and red, then he really gets it. God, he loves her. And she loves _him_ , all the time.

 

 


End file.
